By: Seetha ‘Priya’
There is a part in all of us that is often anxious that we may not be ‘good enough’. Not good enough to be loved, to be successful, to handle the problems we face, to reach our goals. We end up continually judging ourselves, imagining being seen negatively by others, doubting our basic worth.
When we feel this way, if someone tells us that we have, at our core, a true worthiness which is our basic nature, it sounds like a cruel joke. Lord Sainath prompts us to access gold within through Sahasranama
The Seventeenth shloka of Vishnu Sahasranama is –
Upendro Vamanah Pramshur Amoghah Suchirirjitaha Ateendrah Sangrahah Sargo Dhrutatma Niyamo Yamaha
Irrespective of whether it is Indra’s brother Upendra (Upendra), or Vamana the dwarf, Lord Vishnu stands tall (Pramshu), beyond limits (Amogha), pure (Suchi), and holy and remains always firm (Urjitaha). He transcends all senses (Ateendrah), Collector of all our information (Sangraha), Creator of all (Sarga), and controlled Self (Dhrutatma) is director of our life with an orderly manner (Niyamo Yamaha).
The Eighteenth shloka of Vishnu Sahasranama is –
Vedyo Vaidyah Sadayogi Veeraha Madhavo Madhuhu
Ateendrio Mahamayo Mahotsaho Mahabalaha
Lord Vishnu is the knowable (Vedya) and knower (Vaidya), at the same time an Eternal Yogin (Sadayogi). This Lord of knowledge (Madhava) gives the sweet honey (Madhu). He is beyond all senses (Ateendria), is a great illusionist (Mahamaya), full of energy (Mahotsaha) and strength (Mahabala).
With Sahasranama we need to work on ourselves, to penetrate the layers of judgment and doubt that conceal beneath them a bright goodness, presence, and love. Doing this, we initially begin to get tiny glimpses of this, but we repeatedly lose sight of it.
Sri Narasimha Swamiji names one of the six emotional styles that reflect our personality as ‘Outlook’, which he deems ‘how long you can sustain positive emotions.’ We have more positive emotions than we realize. The key, perhaps, is training ourselves to regard it more attentively when it is present. This also involves Vishnu Sahasranama as our inner worthiness. A real-life story is worth looking at in the light of this ‘hidden goodness’.
For centuries an enormous clay statue of the Buddha sat in a temple in Bangkok, Thailand. Its origins were unknown, it became something of a fixture there. Over the years the monks would tend the statue, fixing cracks that kept appearing in the clay. It was later moved to the Wat Traimit since the old temple housing it was in disrepair. Then in 1955, it fell and cracked while being relocated, revealing something shining within. When the stucco was removed from the statue, the now-famous Golden Buddha, approximately seven centuries old, was revealed. It is believed that the heavy, pure gold statue had been covered with plaster and clay six hundred years earlier to protect it from invading Burmese armies, but later, successive generations of monks had neglected or forgotten to pass on the story.
We can see the Golden Buddha now as representing our true, abiding nature, and the clay that covered the statue for so long as the hardening muck of self-doubt, fear, anxiety, insecurity, and maybe even self-hating worthlessness that hides this from us.
We perhaps have added layer upon layer to protect us from hurt and harm — but like those monks, we forget. Over the years we become primarily identified with our coverings; we have forgotten to trust that core of goodness they conceal.
Some parents and teachers, well-meaning but misguidedly thinking they are motivating young people, suggest they are good, but not good enough; talented, but not talented enough; successful, but not successful enough.
We internalize these messages, and soon it is our own ‘voice’, not theirs, saying these things over and over again. Then this ‘never enough’ becomes a chronic habit of mind. We constantly seek approval and validation; we are easily slighted; we can even become irrationally angry as others don’t seem to fulfill our needs. No wonder we feel anxiety and stress — if we’re not good enough, why would anyone want to love us, what will happen when everything collapses, and we can’t handle it? If we’re not good enough, what will happen when people find out?
When you connect with the God – Lord Sainath through Vishnu Sahasranama – the worthiness of yourself — you see more goodness flowing your way. Then you realize that actually, the goodness has always been there; you are simply becoming more sensitive and attuned to it.
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