By: Seetha ‘Priya’
Almost every day of our lives, we face experiences, big or small, which is inescapable. One has two options either ignore it or try to take some counter measure. The first option is a form of forgiveness, while the other amounts to seeking revenge. Which is the better option? We must decide by looking at the outcome, for that will be the determining factor.
Forgiveness is the better option, for it is based on a proven formula for saving yourself from even worse experiences. For example, forgiveness saves you from unworthy distractions, saves your precious time, and saves you from creating even more problems. It is an instant solution to any problem. On the contrary taking revenge is bound to complicate the problem, for that means making everything from
bad to verse. Where forgiveness can buy time, taking revenge just wastes without any benefit.
In such a situation, people are generally prone to place the onus for the predicament entirely upon others. But this is an unwise reaction. The better plan is to examine one’s own role in the affair. In other words, if you are having some sad experience, don’t focus on the other party. Think about your own self and adopt a course of action better for you. At many times in our lives we are faced with two kinds of choices – thinking against the other and pro-self-thinking. Thinking against others makes you descend to the brute level, whereas pro-self-thinking elevates you to a higher plane of human behavior.
The fourth Shloka of Vishnu Sahasranama denotes forgiveness as a full-stop and revenge punctuated by commas. It is –
‘Sarvah Sharvah Shivah Sthanuh Bhootadhihi Nidhihi Avyayaha
Sambhavaha Bhavano Bharta Prabhavah Prabhu-reeshwarah’
Our Para Brahman Lord Sainath is ‘Sarva’ the all in all for us, ‘Sharva’ the destroyer of all our disturbances and negative aspects, the constant ‘Sthanuh’ as the source of all beings – ‘Bhootadhi’, his lotus feet is our ‘Nidhihi’ where we rest in peace and it is unchangeable the ‘Avyayaha’. Lord Sainath is the Manifestation as ‘Sambhavaha’, He is the distributor as in ‘Bhavana’ and ultimately as ‘Bharta’ sustains us. Sai Baba is of superior origin as in ‘Prabhavah’ and powerful as ‘Prabhu’ and indeed the great as ‘Eshwara’.
Therefore, when we surrender to Lord Sainath, he instills in us forgiveness to end an unwanted situation. Otherwise it will extend endlessly. Forgiveness maintains your positive thinking uninterruptedly while revenge fosters negativity. And negative thinking can lead to all kinds of evil actions.
Dada Kelkhar was in-charge of Sathe wada and he was running it ruthlessly. When a devotee was cutting onions in the wada, Kelkhar objected and insulted her. When she came to Sai Baba, he corrected her not to adopt a tit-for-tat policy, as it might lead to a chain of action-reaction. Sai Baba demonstrated that forgiveness puts an end to the problem once and for all, while a tit-for-tat only aggravates and prolongs it. Shama argued with Baba that the policy of forgiveness will only encourage others to further wrongdoing. Sai Baba said it runs counter to the law of nature.
Bhishma in the Sahasranama points out the word ‘Sharva’ that the Lord destroys every disturbance of human being who is born with an ego and a conscience. If you follow the tit-for-tat policy, it will arouse the ego of the other party, whereas if you follow the policy of forgiveness, it will activate the other person’s conscience. Tt is a fact that in controversial matters, the conscience always plays a positive role.
Sri Narasimha Swamiji in his masterpiece ‘Life of Sai Baba’ states that forgiveness and revenge are two different moral cultures. The culture of forgiveness helps in the building of a better society where positive values flourish, the spirit of cooperation prevails, where desperate groups come together and turn themselves into a peaceful society. The outcome of vengefulness is quite the reverse. A revenge culture creates an environment of mistrust, in which everyone takes others to be his rivals. This rules out the growth of a healthy society.
Sooner or later, everyone is bound to do something wrong. Then the saying ‘To err is human’ should be borne in mind. This being so, taking revenge means making not just one mistake, but making mistake after mistake. On the contrary, forgiveness means undoing wrongs with rights. If to err is human, to forgive is even more human.
Hemadpant prays to Sai Baba –
“Destroy from their roots evil tendencies and argumentative habits.
Let our tongues get a passion for chanting the name, O’ pure, Sairaya!
“Grant to me the ability to love you so intensely that I may forget all my
Resolves, doubts, even my body and home. Take away my ego also
“Make me ever remember your name and forget all other things.
Remove the restlessness of the mind and make it steady and calm.
“If you just clasp us, the darkness of night of our ignorance will vanish and
We shall live happily in your light. What more can we desire?
“That you made us drink the nectar of your life story and awakened us
From our slumber is due to your grace. Isn’t this something extra-ordinary”
(Sai Satcharita Chapter 25, Ovi 117-121)
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